I love the main points she underlined:

1. Your attitude is everything. People don’t want to talk to you, or refer you, until your attitude is good enough.  Most job seekers need to work on this.  It’s not enough to put on a smiley face when you network, and appear positive… you must internalize the right attitude, because even when you think you are sending the right message, if you are hurt and angry and scared-to-death (what job seeker isn’t any of those three??), your message will come out different than what you think it is.

2. Communicate “why you left your last job” well. Emily says she doesn’t want to hear excuses.  No one wants to hear any train-wreck stories of what went wrong, and why your boss is an idiot.  They ask because they want to know if you are high risk, and will be a problem at the next job.  How do you answer this question?  ”are you high risk, and will you be a problem at your next job?”  That’s what they are really asking… if you tell them how idiotic your boss was, you aren’t addressing their concern!

3. Emily says “Somebody will fill that position!” That’s right.  Someone will.  Put in the effort, do this the right way, and it might be you.  Be normal and average and employ the same strategies as everyone else and… well, you won’t have much of a competitive advantage!

Check out Emily’s brilliant post here…!

I love how she starts:

Job titles can go through trends just like anything else.

When I started my job search I had an idea of the job titles I was looking for, but after scouring the job boards I learned there were titles I hadn’t heard of that I needed to focus on.  I had been out of it for so long that I didn’t know about some newer titles.

Carolyn’s post has lists of the most popular job postings with those buzzwords in them.  Read the lists if you think you are a Guru, etc.

However, let me share a thought.

It’s much, much better for someone else to call you a GURU than for you to call yourself a guru.

You saying it sounds conceited and unqualified (since you are biased).

But if someone else says it…. ?  It’s different, right?

Way different.

Here’s how you can make the two concepts meet.

In an interview you can say something like “my peers usually say I’m the team Ninja because I _____.”

Or you can say “people in the industry have called me the guru of ______.”

This way you can say you are a ninja or guru with some credibility, since it’s what others are saying about you.

Worth a try?

That’s what friends do.

That’s what people who nurture relationships do.

During the call he told me about a call he made to someone else… someone he hadn’t talked to for a couple of years.  The person wondered what Thom really wanted.  Was it a multi-level?  Did he need money, or a contact, or a job?

No, none of that.  Thom was just calling to catch up.  That was it.

That should be okay, but we have become such a suspicous people that it wasn’t really okay. Sad, huh?

After our call I noticed his post titled Here Are Four Trends In Networking That Could Hurt Your Career. Go read it.  The first three seem to be pink elephants… stuff that most networking people don’t talk about.  They seem to be busy talking about all the stuff to do, while the introverts and networking skeptics are thinking about the things Thom lists.

Here they are – I agree 100% with Thom.  Please, please go read his post, and become a better networker!

1. Too much online focus. YES… WAY TOO MUCH.  Use online to get to face-to-face, and use face-to-face to begin to nurture a real, long-term professional relationship!!

2. Protecting time. I’m guilty of this… I call it time management, but Thom is finding people who are overly protective of their time… are you missing opportunities because you say “no” too much?

3. Wanting it too fast. Yes!  We live in a microwave society and we want it all now (or in 30 seconds).  This stuff takes time… maybe even years! Start now and be patient.

4. Not networking at all. There are many reasons for this – what’s yours?  My biggest hangup was that I didn’t understand what networking really was.

Read his post here.

He talks about a keynote speaker he heard who focused on reach, risk and refueling, and closed her message with “focus on what is going right.”

In a job search it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong, which leads to nothing but trouble.  You get discouraged, hopeless, and you beat yourself up.  Mental and physical health deteriorates.  People don’t want to be around you, and no one is comfortable making networking introductions for you.

You have something bad about you that turns other people off.

It’s BAD.

Change that. Focus on what is going right.

Get a flat tire, or a blow-out on the highway?  Focus on the fact that you didn’t die, and no one got hurt.

Got laid off from your company? Focus on the fact that you still have your hands, or brain, or whatever you need, to make a living.

Starting to lose your sight, and not able to do your job?  Focus on the fact that you have enough other skills to do something new, perhaps consult or train others.

I recently met someone who’s brother, a dentist, lost the fingers on his right hand (yes, he’s right handed), in a machine accident at home.  He likely won’t be able to practice dentistry anymore, but he will be able to teach at a dental school.

My daughter recently fell on the sidewalk and smashed her face pretty bad.  Our dentist had to yank some baby teeth.  But she had no bone/jaw damage, and will heal just fine.

Getting laid off or fired hurts. You can blame yourself, or the economy, or a customer, or the sales team, etc.

Instead of spending time or effort there, focus on what’s right.

What could possibly be right?

Maybe now you have a chance to pursue a dream you couldn’t before — whether that’s a hobby or a massive career change.

Maybe now you can retire… wasn’t in the plans, but it might make sense.

Maybe now you can slow down.

Maybe now you can go to school… something that’s been nagging at you for years.

Maybe now you can pay more attention to your family.

Maybe now you are out of an abusive work relationship.

Maybe now you can call your own shots, and choose from different employers.

Maybe now you _______________ (you know how to fill in your own blank).

Easier said than done, I KNOW.  But the benefits of focusing on what’s right can be life-changing, and get you out of a nasty funk.

Please, please, please focus on what’s right!

When you hire a professional resume writer, or an executive resume writer, you are hiring someone to create your personal marketing material.

They are not just there to get the grammer, words and spelling right.

They are there to get the entire document and presentation right.

If you want to hire a typist you can find them all over the place.

If you need someone to create the right kind of marketing material for your next job, hire a professional/executive resume writer.

A few years ago I had the opportunity to spend a couple of days at a Mark LeBlanc workshop/seminar and was able to learn from him.  Mark has a small book, so he’s an author.  But beyond that, he’s helped thousands of people rethink their business, get their priorities in order, and focus on business growth and success.

When I saw this in my Facebook feed I knew I should share it with you (even without him knowing about it):

He’s a terrific, grounded person.  If you are in La Jolla or Minneapolis I encourage you to check out his workshops.

If you aren’t, get his very inexpensive book. It is small but there is a lot of value there.

At his Growing Your Business website you can click on the Events tab and you’ll see other locations, including Nashville and Philadelphia.

The article starts out with some profound questions, like “what happens when unemployed husbands resign themselves to relying on a wife’s income…?”

It talks about how the unemployment rate is up, even from when the recession “ended” 18 months ago (interesting!).

It talks about the three million “jobs” that are out there and suggests 4 reasons why there are still so many jobs while we have a high unemployment. (I think the second and third suggestions are ridiculous)

It suggests the longer someone is unemployed, the less employable they become (in general, I disagree).

It ends with a few paragraphs of some political thoughts.

Who knows what the silver bullet is… but here’s a thought – maybe we’re looking to solve the wrong problem?

Maybe we shouldn’t be looking for new jobs, job creation, etc.

If not, what should we be looking for?

Recently I read an awesome idea on how to ensure you are moving forward (not just doing *stuff* but really moving forward with your goals/objectives).

The idea is the simplest I’ve heard but it makes a lot of sense.  Here’s what you do:

Every day make a list of three urgent things and three important things (that should/could be done that day).  Then, make sure you do all of the important things.

It’s that simple.  And because you are always working on important things, you’ll always be moving forward.

I think the urgent things will have a way of getting done, don’t you think?

Brilliant.  Try it… I have and it has provided a piece of mind that I didn’t have before.

(If you know where this idea comes from, leave a note in the comments… I can’t remember where I read it)

Many, many fears.

Pam Slim wrote a great post titled Find joy in the terror of staring something new.

You see, starting something new, and being afraid, is quite common.  I did new stuff at my old job, but I had a safety net (false sense of security).  I started new stuff when I got married, had kids, etc.  Life is full of new stuff.

Even job loss and job transitions.

I’m not saying you need to be unrealistic about how much the job search can stink, but perhaps there are good things that can come of it?

Perhaps you’ll take time and learn to network better.  Maybe you’ll get a stronger network during the process.

Perhaps you’ll overcome your fear of the phone, which sometimes seems to weigh 500 pounds!

Perhaps you’ll finally be able to understand and communicate your 30 second elevator pitch.

Perhaps you’ll finally be guided into a new career path… one you’ve wanted to be in but you were always too afraid to go there.

I don’t know what your “perhaps” will be.  Mine was a stronger understanding of personal career management, and a sense of finally OWNING my own career path.  That was huge for me.

What will it be for you?

Take a few minutes to read Pam Slim’s post that inspired this one.