I work with a lot of job seekers and every once in a while get a message that is amazingly rude. It isn’t common, and it’s not a significant portion of my overall feedback, but every once in a while I have someone vent. It is usually way off-base, but I do hate being the cause of any negative feelings, so it usually bothers me the rest of the day.
To keep my sanity I usually assume the person who is venting has other major issues (being unemployed and the stress that brings is a factor, I’m sure). I once had a very nice person blow up at me without any reason, and I somehow concluded that he had a mental condition and missed his medication (not an uncommon thing).
These experiences completely burn me, and I want NOTHING to do with those people.
I wonder if you, as a job seeker, have done anything that burns people you are around, or want to be around, to the point where they want nothing to do with you?
Here are five questions I have for you to consider – think about them honestly and perhaps you’ll find some behaviors that need to be adjusted.
- Do you feel you need to vent and “tell it like it is” to anyone in your network? I don’t expect you to be fake, chipper and Polyanna all the time, but you also don’t need to bring everyone down with “reality” you are living.
- Do you ever give anything to your network? Gracing them with your presence doesn’t count – I’m talking about giving them leads, network contacts, advice, help, or just a listening ear.
- When you meet with potential decision-makers (recruiters, HR, hiring managers, influencers, gatekeepers, etc.), are you kind and respectful? Or are you much better than they are and you need to go a few levels up to talk to someone who is the real decision-maker (and make it very clear to them that you are just trying to get around them)?
- Do you go out of your way to help others, even when you don’t really know them? I am always looking for team players, and people I’d like to work with – I want to see that you are contributing to move some work forward… even if that means you help people that you don’t really know. Think about the last network meeting you went to – did you offer to help someone who you haven’t gotten to know yet?
- Are you rude to restaurant servers? When I’m at a lunch with job seekers (or anyone, for that matter) and the person I’m eating with is rude or sarcastic to the server, that is a huge red flag. Better than them because of what they are doing for a first or second job? I won’t trust you with an introduction to anyone in my network… I don’t want you to treat my contacts they way you treated the server!
Just because you are in a job search, and it sucks, doesn’t mean you have a free ticket to make others feel bad. In the end it will not benefit you at all.
What are other signs of a rude job seekers?