Will saying “No” hurt you in your current job (and make you have to brush up your resume fast)?

On the heels of a recent blog post in regard to saying “No,” I thought I’d expand on one of the examples provided in a linked article from Real Simple magazine:

Saying No for the Sake of Your Time
Request: You are offered a promotion that you don’t want. Even though it means more money, it demands more hours and more of what your boss calls responsibility and you call tedium.

What You Should Say: “I’m flattered that you want me, but for personal reasons I’m not in a situation where I can take this on. Perhaps in a year from now things will be different. Can we talk again if my circumstances change?”

Why It Works: If you’re caught in this enviable dilemma, your boss will understand you have personal priorities that take precedence.

Why You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty: By saying no to more time at the office, you’re saying yes to other things you cherish, be they long walks alone at sunset or evening time with your children.

How to Avoid the Situation in the Future: “If a position opens up at your workplace, you could let it be known that you are not in the running,” author Patti Breitman suggests. Being forthright saves your manager the trouble of pursuing a candidate who isn’t interested.

So the question arises: Will your boss *really* understand you have personal priorities that take precedence? Or will he or she:

1. Not take that as a one-time thing, and refuse to consider you for other positions in the future?

2. See you as being less of a team player, and put a negative checkmark next to your name in their mental management book?

Heaven help me, I fear #1 or #2 (or both!) could be the case. So may I amend the suggestion a little bit?

1. Negotiate. Is there anything you could do to re-frame the offer in a way that maintains your work-life balance, even if it means pulling in a lower salary than that originally offered? (Which is probably still higher than what you’re getting now, anyway.) You can say that it’s not the salary that’s so important to you (which gladdens a boss’ heart) as much as it is the ability to do the job well and still provide excellent service to your company.

2. Offer to help. You’ve undoubtedly got a network of contacts. If you’re going to say no, would you at least also considering saying something like, “I know a few people who might be interested in a position like the one you’re offering. Would you mind if I made a few phone calls for you?”

Hopefully, this adds an extra measure of comfort to your situation.

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